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It is never personal, you're not the protagonist

It's so easy to become offended. It actually comes pretty natural. Someone says something.  You feel it's directed at you Strong reaction follows No need to react, it's got nothing to do with you as a person Imagine some remarks about academic work versus manual one, a bit dismissive about the latter. You don't have a degree and never wanted one. You know very well it takes years of experience and training to do what you're doing. Talent is involved too, as some people do have "two left hands".  You still feel you should add something to the conversation, but not sure if it is going to be well-received. No need to enlighten the other party right now Most people think in terms of opposites. If it's not this, it's that and it can't be anything else. Certainty of one's convictions is also a form of self-reassurance that everything is stable in one's world. Other points of view cannot be allowed because they are disruptive. Cognitive disrup...

The mind jail in total lock-up

You've heard it before: master your emotions, keep the lid on random thoughts. Is it good advice? I think it is. The idea of thoughts and emotions being some kind of inimical entities under close supervision was at first dismissed as too New Age, liberal, self-indulging theory. After all, who has got any time to stop and think if they are doing something that requires total focus? This applies to both physical and mental labour, including the one needed for giving birth. Agreed, there is not much room left between this kind of real activity and the rest of the world, with all its distractions. Focus is the saving grace, provided nothing changes. As soon as there's a technological leap and things get easier, there would be less of the old type of focus, would it not? Washing or toiling the land was a day-long affair. When it stops being so, is a door being opened to emotions and thoughts that would have otherwise stayed silent? In ancient Greece, different schools o...

The 4th wall is down, we just don't know it (part 1)

Linguists, not in your sweetest dreams has such a golden opportunity come your way.  Owners of PhD in social sciences, rejoice. This is your time, so if you want to advance your research, stop procrastinating. If you have not done it already, sign up to as many social media platforms as possible and watch the world go by.  Up to now, if you wanted you investigate how people truly communicate when they are angry or upset, you'd have had to carry out an experiment, recruit volunteers, set-up the environment and then pray that they act genuinely. Otherwise, it's been listening to individual stories and trying to identify a version closer to truth. Trading insults between four walls has always been part of domestic life. Insults directed towards strangers, out in the open world, have been around for ages too, and at times there were some consequences.  Remember the Three Musketeers' famous duels?  Generally, the human mouth is not always emitting nice and ple...

Mourning becomes us

I don't know how to write about death without using words which have already been exhausted by intensive use. I don't want to be original either,  it would be a terrible act of self-indulgence and ultimately psychopathic behaviour. For short, I have no idea how to express what I feel whenever I hear of someone's death, especially when it is someone close. Am I saddened by their fate or mine? The realisation that someone is no longer within reach, be it remotely, always comes as a surprise.  It is hitting the same nerve, imaginary or not, that never learns. Sudden deprivation, loss of a certainty, however vague and infrequently remembered, fear of one's own inevitable death? No, fear is not the right word, although it has been mentioned by many as the dominant emotion when confronted with news off someone's demise. There must be something different, heavily tinged, at times, with the guilt of not having made that phone call or visit. Pre-death behavio...