It's so easy to become offended. It actually comes pretty natural. Someone says something. You feel it's directed at you Strong reaction follows No need to react, it's got nothing to do with you as a person Imagine some remarks about academic work versus manual one, a bit dismissive about the latter. You don't have a degree and never wanted one. You know very well it takes years of experience and training to do what you're doing. Talent is involved too, as some people do have "two left hands". You still feel you should add something to the conversation, but not sure if it is going to be well-received. No need to enlighten the other party right now Most people think in terms of opposites. If it's not this, it's that and it can't be anything else. Certainty of one's convictions is also a form of self-reassurance that everything is stable in one's world. Other points of view cannot be allowed because they are disruptive. Cognitive disrup...
Prequel (as they say in the movie industry): a few days after publishing this post, I came across an advertisement that contained the very idea I had written about. Actually the very phrase, 'time-in'. Synchronicity is very real. Glad to find out others think the same.
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| The missing toy |
Child has a tantrum. Child starts screaming. Parent has no idea why and prosecutorial interrogation does not work.
"Why are you shouting? Why are you not listening? Why?"
Most adults don't have any trouble explaining why they are moody, irritable or simply unpleasant. "I'm stressed" is the generic label for a variety of deeper feelings and emotions, as well as pure biological reasons, such as lack of sleep.
Are grown-ups being told to have a time-out when they behave like their children? God forbid, they're grown-ups.
Kids are not basketball players. Time-out, shouted by the coach and meant to break a free fall in players' tactics and successive mistakes, is perfectly justified in team sports.
It has no place in child-rearing. That's not a game, there is no opposing team and the only coach is life.
More importantly, when a parent orders time-out for an unruly child, the game clock does not stop. All that time wasted on seeking reasons and admonishing, could be spent playing.
Playing is time-in, in the moment.
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