It's so easy to become offended. It actually comes pretty natural. Someone says something. You feel it's directed at you Strong reaction follows No need to react, it's got nothing to do with you as a person Imagine some remarks about academic work versus manual one, a bit dismissive about the latter. You don't have a degree and never wanted one. You know very well it takes years of experience and training to do what you're doing. Talent is involved too, as some people do have "two left hands". You still feel you should add something to the conversation, but not sure if it is going to be well-received. No need to enlighten the other party right now Most people think in terms of opposites. If it's not this, it's that and it can't be anything else. Certainty of one's convictions is also a form of self-reassurance that everything is stable in one's world. Other points of view cannot be allowed because they are disruptive. Cognitive disrup
I think I have stumbled upon something which could be life-changing. Not arrogant enough to think it could change other people's lives. Let's stick with myself.
Get rid of the old dictionary in your head. Someone says; "You are too over-sensitive, that's the problem". Automatic translation: "I am at fault, they don't like me".
You're going to fail the exam if you use that translation. Try: "I am not thick-skinned enough for you, you would like me to be able to withstand an outburst of frustration so that you can get relief from what's praying on your mind and needs bringing out".
Think of what people do when there is no one around and they need to release some internal pressure.
Do they get on with their life as if nothing is whirling inside their brain? I very much doubt it.
My theory is that if they suppress it, they become ill, and if they seek relief through external methods, they'll do anything, from banging their fists on the table to swearing, crying, cursing or using mind-altering substances.
Anything to get out of the jail of thoughts.
Next time someone is less than their usual self, switch off automatic translation and check the real dictionary entry.
With the exception maybe of psychopathic sociopaths ( or the other way round), people want to enjoy life and be in harmony with their fellow-beings. If they treated individual deviation from this principle the way they treat changes in outside temperature (nothing you can do about it, apart from adding an extra layer or taking one it off), social life would be heaven on earth.
PS. This blog post was written before the COVID-19 assault and it may have become partly outdated. Or terribly topical.
Get rid of the old dictionary in your head. Someone says; "You are too over-sensitive, that's the problem". Automatic translation: "I am at fault, they don't like me".
You're going to fail the exam if you use that translation. Try: "I am not thick-skinned enough for you, you would like me to be able to withstand an outburst of frustration so that you can get relief from what's praying on your mind and needs bringing out".
Think of what people do when there is no one around and they need to release some internal pressure.
Do they get on with their life as if nothing is whirling inside their brain? I very much doubt it.
My theory is that if they suppress it, they become ill, and if they seek relief through external methods, they'll do anything, from banging their fists on the table to swearing, crying, cursing or using mind-altering substances.
Anything to get out of the jail of thoughts.
Next time someone is less than their usual self, switch off automatic translation and check the real dictionary entry.
With the exception maybe of psychopathic sociopaths ( or the other way round), people want to enjoy life and be in harmony with their fellow-beings. If they treated individual deviation from this principle the way they treat changes in outside temperature (nothing you can do about it, apart from adding an extra layer or taking one it off), social life would be heaven on earth.
PS. This blog post was written before the COVID-19 assault and it may have become partly outdated. Or terribly topical.
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