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It is never personal, you're not the protagonist

It's so easy to become offended. It actually comes pretty natural. Someone says something.  You feel it's directed at you Strong reaction follows No need to react, it's got nothing to do with you as a person Imagine some remarks about academic work versus manual one, a bit dismissive about the latter. You don't have a degree and never wanted one. You know very well it takes years of experience and training to do what you're doing. Talent is involved too, as some people do have "two left hands".  You still feel you should add something to the conversation, but not sure if it is going to be well-received. No need to enlighten the other party right now Most people think in terms of opposites. If it's not this, it's that and it can't be anything else. Certainty of one's convictions is also a form of self-reassurance that everything is stable in one's world. Other points of view cannot be allowed because they are disruptive. Cognitive disrup

The pleasures of being judgemental

Come on, don't recoil in disgust, as if you have just been the victim of a selfish dog-owner. You know the type, walking the dog and not picking up the poo.
We all like being judgemental. The more we deny it, the more we do it.

The art of making grand pronouncements about our fellow human beings must have been born in the depths of the cave, where everyone was a rival, someone to compete with for the best place near the fire.

Backbiting, I can only imagine, could become quite literal. It's so understandable, with few resources and a constant danger lurking as soon as you stepped outside. This is to say nothing of the dangers that sneaked inside, as everyone is hungry at some point, from fleas to lions.

If you believe in epigenetics  (big word, I know, so big that the auto-correct puts many red dots under it, just through sheer ignorance), so if you do know a thing or two about epigenetics, you can only conclude that human temperament had to incorporate the 'judgemental' feature.

Once it has become part of a genetic make-up, that was it. A frisson of excitement would usually accompany dialogues round someone else's personality flaws, hair or shoes. It was only natural that it had to be accompanied by self-righteousness.

Ever since the emergence of these twin pleasures - seeing everyone else in the worst light and oneself in the best one - socialising has turned into a non-bloody sport of character assassination or just moral dismemberment.

Life would be so boring if we could not dissect other people. There is only so much abstract philosophy that can be ingurgitated with dinner and wine.

I think that one of the reasons solitude is so feared is the inability to converse about a third party. Muttering about someone else on your own feels bad. If it turns into a habit and it's done when others are around, it looks bad and bordering insanity.

I don't know whether anyone has explored this hypothesis, but I think couples who stop bad-mouthing other people are very likely to split up.

It's not passion that dies, but the shared pleasure of being judgemental and self-righteous, while counting on one's partner discretion. Joint activities do miracles for long-term stability.





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